Vacuum Aficionado Gifts

Dyson with Death

"Everybody, this is Mr. Bryce—Mr. Bryce is a salesman."

COVID-19 dime

Rapunzel has a short-lived career demonstrating vacuum cleaners.

Hell's cleaners.

'Oh my god, it's the Grim Housekeeper!'

COWS: Cow dustmite

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

Vlad the Inhaler

Dracula in a Vampire Hospital getting some extra blood from a Human blood drip

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

Man admiring his patterned clothes in the mirror

"Sorry. My blood sugar has just been running a little low lately."

Dracula vacationing in Venice feeding bats in the Piazza of St. Mark.

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

"Are you willing to work the night shift?"

'A vampire bat! No kidding!'

Vampire coming out of a body piercing shop with a stake in his heart

'It's a little varietal I bottle myself...Type A positive.'

'I hate waking up with coffin hair.'

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

Movie Monster Exhibit: Unavailable due to much needed repair work.

'I think we have some stowaways.'

'He wants a second opinion.'

Lady vampire putting lipstick on in a mirror with no reflection

'Ladies no more messy pet hairs to worry about with the Decko Dynamic!'

'You're on Deck! Wilson! Hurry up with that pedicure!'

Vampire Bat

Niche Extracurriculars

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

"I have to say, sleeping in a coffin is way better since I got the box spring."

Little Van Helsing was dissapointed that, again, there was no monster under the bed or in the closet.

"Look, we're three thousand years old. No one's going to hire us."

"Hello job security."