Cloud Skeptic Gifts

Wary of the cloud

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

"Miss Rogers told me I have a personal 'cloud' to store knowledge in."

"That recruitment algorithm we’ve been using, I think we need to revisit it!"

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

I.T. Fear

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

"I do tech support for the cloud."

'Tech stocks dropped on the finding that technology isn't neccessarily the best solution to everything.'

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

"And may I now introduce Professor Muckenspucker, who is an authority on artificial stupidity."

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

Computer Class.

"Yep, that one does, too." "For heaven's sake, Bob, they all look like fart emojis."

'Look man, no wings!'

The fate that awaits us all: creeping Rooneyism

'Everything is in the Cloud.'

Cloud Computing.

GPS can still have a few bugs in the system.

Privacy

"We need to rethink our strategy of hoping the Internet will just go away."

How Grandma Sees the Remote

'No Jenkins! I said we need to start using the Cloud! The C-L-O-U-D!'

'My daughter read on the internet about a hip replacement with free built-in MP3 player,'

"Grandpa's not tech savvy. If I want to unfriend someone, I say, 'I don't like you anymore' to their face."

Big Brother.

"I need a pitchfork that's just a pitchfork."

"To 'click to enter' or not to 'click to enter'… that is the question."

"How come they don't make clouds in high definition?"

Diner is served