Cosmic Skeptic Gifts

"I'm not worried about the Comet, I don't believe in Astrology."

"It says here that the sun will 'explode in 10 billion years. . .'."

"I called tech support, but he said Mercury was in retrograde, so there was nothing he could do."

"Good game."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

Outer Space Outsourcing

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

Chiller Theatre

'BANG' and a cosmology institute appears.

"An un-observed universe ceases to exist. Yeah right!"

Zenemies.

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

"If there were really a God, trees would come with outlets and wifi hubs."

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

"When we're home, are we still aliens?"

'This is embarrassing. By MY calculations, the universe should have collapsed in on itself last Wednesday.'

How life on Earth really got its start.

'...and at this point I'm afraid the tax laws become totally theoretical.'

Alternative Medicine

Newton's Cradle Solar System

'Oh-oh -- What hath He wrought now?'

'What's most depressing is the realization that everything we believe will be disproved in a few years.'

"Earth – Love the brand, hate the owners."

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

Questions

Couple stargazing: 'Now a word from our sponsor...'

"I don't like space."

'How can I get my baby to sleep?'

"It's scary that humans are our benchmark for intelligent life in the universe."

"Uh-oh - climate change."