Cosmic Skeptic Gifts

"I'm not worried about the Comet, I don't believe in Astrology."

"It says here that the sun will 'explode in 10 billion years. . .'."

"I called tech support, but he said Mercury was in retrograde, so there was nothing he could do."

"Good game."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

Outer Space Outsourcing

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

'BANG' and a cosmology institute appears.

"An un-observed universe ceases to exist. Yeah right!"

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

Chiller Theatre

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

Zenemies.

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

"If there were really a God, trees would come with outlets and wifi hubs."

"When we're home, are we still aliens?"

"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"

'This is embarrassing. By MY calculations, the universe should have collapsed in on itself last Wednesday.'

How life on Earth really got its start.

Newton's Cradle Solar System

'...and at this point I'm afraid the tax laws become totally theoretical.'

'What's most depressing is the realization that everything we believe will be disproved in a few years.'

Alternative Medicine

"Earth – Love the brand, hate the owners."

Do you ever wish you lived in a different era, Randy? It's safer to keep me where I am. Injecting my advanced virility into more primitive eras could have disastrous effects on the timeline. Well

'Oh-oh -- What hath He wrought now?'

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

"It's scary that humans are our benchmark for intelligent life in the universe."

"Sure, it's Good News, but is it fake news?"

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

God with Earth Controller

'How can I get my baby to sleep?'

"Uh-oh - climate change."