Vanity Skeptic Gifts

'Frankly, I think you've got a cheek asking me if you're the fairest of them all.'

Surfer Blowing Back His Hair.

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

Man admiring his patterned clothes in the mirror

'Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest algologist of all?'

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

INSTANT GREY HAIR TREATMENT.

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

'You certainly lived a remarkable life. Any chance you'll get over yourself?'

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

'Don't step on that in your bare feet - my mom does and screams.'

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

"In your 40s, hair starts growing everywhere except where it should."

'You're on Deck! Wilson! Hurry up with that pedicure!'

'I can't see anything through these ridiculous tiny slits, I'll take them.'

'Mommy puts on a disguise every time, before she goes to work.'

'Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's is the fairest arse of all?'

Krest Yellow Strips. (Rat performs dental hygiene.)

"...And please let at least one person admire my new hat!"

'If you ain't broke, I'll fix it.'

"I see he finally got rid of that idiotic comb-over."

"Does my brain look big in this?"

'Get the 'extra hold' bear spray. I want to look good when we come out of hibernation.'

"Would you look at the carrot on that guy!"

The caricature of Dorian Gray

'I know how you feel.'

"There's something you should consider before you begin—my hair works hard and it plays hard."

Extreme Vanity Press - Fall, 2007

The Paper Silhouette Editor

Narcissus

Bill Jones - Bill Jones w/out makeup

Stars Without Make-Up.

"For goodness sakes, Harold. Stop preening!"

'Having limited funds, Irwin goes with the less expensive chest hair transplant.'

'This is Photoshop. It's like the beauty salon of the Internet.'