Urban Wit Seeker Gifts

'I'm glad they finally got around to us.'

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

'Whoooa,MAN,check out this STORM! It's PELTING down!'

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

'I use my Blackberry all the time to check the competition's executive bonuses.'

'For Sale by Neighbor'

'See, Jimmy, as the population grows too dense, the rats begin to brutalize each other...'

Arabic Thief Salad - lashings of whipped cream...

Sculptor explaining to tourist in Trafalgar Square that sculpture of pigeon is called 'Retribution - it actually doubles as a giant privy!'

In 1682 in a remote cave in the Ural Mountains, Heinrick Glaston discovers irony.

"Do you think those clams we ate were a little off?"

'You got much on at the moment?'; 'No, nothing really.' (Naked man)

Straddling bus stop above a regular bus stop.

"You know, crime doesn't pay... at least at your level."

'You can come back in, King Kong. The superintendent got the door open.'

"I've got to admit I'm not crazy about the freeway."

Traffic Lights Medicine

The Last of the Passenger Pigeons

'I really think you should check your pools, sir.'

"... but this is Emily Dickinson and that's a car alarm!"

Lex Ave Express

"May I recommend the pumpkin seeds to starts?"

",,,These job cuts will not affect patient care...."

"Call a veterinary, chief. I think he's got a kidney infection..."

"It was the cheapest way for us to cover the potholes."

'I don;t see how that's going to work?'

Bumper sticker reads: 'I'd rather be text messaging.'

Cook complaining to milkman

"The best way of dispersing crowds in the inner city is to start handing out job applications!"

Manhole Warning

"It gets a lot of refracted light."

"So we're agreed. You get everything south of 59th. We get the rest. Capice?"

Chugger