Union Ponderer Gifts

'Not right now, Timmy. First we're going to work on fielding ground balls. Maybe later we can discuss collective bargaining.'

"According to mom the answers are all in this book!" "Too bad there's no pictures at which to look!"

"I'm in a catch-23 situation."

That party went well.

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

"Still, he might be remembered as the 'no cloning' President."

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

"Of course you can't put your finger on it. It's a hypothetical particle."

'According to the latest poll, 64% of the public don't pay any attention to polls...'

Thinking and thinking backwards.

'Retirement is OK, but instead of looking forword to weekends, I'm working at McDonalds.'

'Euro's down against the pound, dollars up against yen, pound is... what the hell don't expect cheap meals in France!'

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

'I ask myself-do I really want to sleep on the edge of the bed again?'

"What's with kids nowadays? Walking upright's not good enough for you?"

Passing the Pension Time Bomb

'When bad 401ks happen to good people'

"Sure, but what have you invented lately?"

Star Trek-the Older Generation. . .

Time, Temp, Today's Neutrino Mass

Answers to last week's brain-teasers

'The hippiest dryads were often farouche.'

'It's a real conundrum. Not sure if I should open it, or beat it.'

"Is there a God?"

Are you aware? The Higgs Boson was thought to exist even through no one had seen it!

"I'm the ghost of your future retirement."

Retirement Issues

"Of course it's not easy to read the body language of someone who's basically inert."

"Well, for starters, Matt has been showing definite improvement in risk-taking."

'Though we must innovate, and though we must grow, we must never lose sight of our core mediocrities.'

'That's from the last year the data was available.'

Dorothy finds the Yellow brick road is now a 6-lane expressway.