Pensioner Ponderer Gifts

'I'm part of the losing things generation.'

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

"You've been so good to us all these years. Is there anything we can do to repay you?"

"He was just hanging about in the shed, so I had him repurposed."

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

'I had considered a career as an offshore commodities broker specialising in securitised asset transfers but the pension wasn't as good.'

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

Waiting for Pants

"Still, he might be remembered as the 'no cloning' President."

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

"Hello - I'm from the future..."

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

Signs of Aging: Light headedness, shortening, waxy skin, burn out and hot flashes.

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

"Today we'll examine that age old question of robot accomplishment: programming or processor?"

"If we take a late retirement and an early death, we'll just squeak by."

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

'Retirement is OK, but instead of looking forword to weekends, I'm working at McDonalds.'

"The industry has agreed to take the pensions dashboard off our hands. . ."

How do you fell about buying your own health insurance?

'Would you like your dividend in pennies, nickels or bitcoin?'

The Great Pyramid of Geezers

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

'I ask myself-do I really want to sleep on the edge of the bed again?'

'Something tells me asking him to delay his retirement may be futile.'

"What the hell did you do with your day before I retired?"

'When 900 years you reach, retire, you will not.'

Old men,"I have terrible trouble with my joints..the cannabis keeps falling out."

'When bad 401ks happen to good people'

Passing the Pension Time Bomb

"The pension crisis prompted me to consider alternative invstments. Like Roulette."

Star Trek-the Older Generation. . .

"That's where the tenured faculty members hang out."

Retirement Issues