Progress Ponderer Gifts

"Well, for starters, Matt has been showing definite improvement in risk-taking."

'Though we must innovate, and though we must grow, we must never lose sight of our core mediocrities.'

"What's with kids nowadays? Walking upright's not good enough for you?"

When this is buildings we can say we remember when all this was fields.

"Have they no shame?"

Dorothy finds the Yellow brick road is now a 6-lane expressway.

Evolution.

"Sure, but what have you invented lately?"

"We're working our way up to 1G."

"Any New Year's resolutions?" "I'm going to do better." "That's a nice sentiment but a little vague. Without a specific benchmark how'll you know you've met it?" "How'll I know I haven't?" "That's oddly logical." "And achievable."

Progress

Evolutionary Toilets.

'Are you sure we want to evolve? Remember what happened last time.'

"Exactly how undecided would you say you were at this precise moment?"

Totalitarian Humour

"Of course you can't put your finger on it. It's a hypothetical particle."

"Today we'll examine that age old question of robot accomplishment: programming or processor?"

"I'll have dessert first."

"It is just as the Oracle foretold!"

How do you fell about buying your own health insurance?

'I say we try it.'

'Congratulations, you've got the job. Unfortunately though, you'll be constantly late, and we'll fire you in two months.'

'In other words, statistics prove that statisticians aren't always right.'

Time, Temp, Today's Neutrino Mass

'The hardest part of being a street crazy is picking each day's sign.'

'He's always looking for an argument!'

There are planets where lifeforms are almost human...

'U.S. Manufacturing'

"I appreciate you have a real passion for music Mr Hibberd. . . but I can see you're going to struggle with the piano."

"We're studying the legal principles of 'crossing a heart and hoping to die'."

'You'll be going on a long journey this Christmas.'

"The fact that you're here means you will continue to make poor life decisions."

Are you aware? The Higgs Boson was thought to exist even through no one had seen it!

The End is Near.

"Forget the future, tell me what happened to the past ten years."