Present Ponderer Gifts

'I had more last year!'

'Remember to include all the sales receipts in case I change my mind.'

'I had more last year.'

Santa Amazon and the Christmas slaves were diligent again.

Historical memory is on life support.

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"...I don't believe in the past or the future. I don't even believe in right now. Everyone remembers the past differently. Everyone imagines the future differently. Everyone even disagrees about what's happening right now. So who's to say tomorrow what you and I did tonight?"

'Why don't you try seeing it from your point of view?'

'The organizational structure is pretty simple: We do the work; they take the credit.'

"May I offer a very different scenario?"

Totalitarian Humour

'At least I don't have his life.'

'We never had all these labour-saving devices in my young day!'

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

"Definitive." "Compelling." "Persuasive." "Upside down."

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

'Egad! It's the ghosts of sanity past!'

Artist chained to his drawing.

"I'll have dessert first."

'In this next precedent, an attorney lost his frivolous lawsuit complaint and his opponent then filed a frivolous 'frivolous lawsuit' lawsuit.'

'I say we try it.'

"It is just as the Oracle foretold!"

'Congratulations, you've got the job. Unfortunately though, you'll be constantly late, and we'll fire you in two months.'

"I think you're suffering from nostalgia, Mr. Prentice."

"What's with kids nowadays? Walking upright's not good enough for you?"

'Just one God? - But won't he be outnumbered?'

"Sure, but what have you invented lately?"

The sad case of the blind-men and the elephant.

Truth

Sign pointing to 'hindsight' and 'foresight'

'Turn your thinking cap around, Robert.'

'He's always looking for an argument!'

"Half full, or half empty? Do you want a positive spin, or a negative spin?"

'You'll be going on a long journey this Christmas.'

'The hardest part of being a street crazy is picking each day's sign.'