Past-present Ponderer Gifts

Lady Jane Grey

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

Historical memory is on life support.

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

"Admit it, we're lost."

"Look, Professor - a stegosaurus!"

"...I don't believe in the past or the future. I don't even believe in right now. Everyone remembers the past differently. Everyone imagines the future differently. Everyone even disagrees about what's happening right now. So who's to say tomorrow what you and I did tonight?"

Another Theory as to Why Dinosaurs became Extinct.

'Why don't you try seeing it from your point of view?'

Rock - see you in a million years!

"May I offer a very different scenario?"

"How the hell is that supposed to feed us?"

Totalitarian Humour

"Now that was post-modern sex."

'Your 'marriage' invention sounds good, but what if it leads to a concentration of power for the central government?'

'We never had all these labour-saving devices in my young day!'

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

"Definitive." "Compelling." "Persuasive." "Upside down."

'We froze him until medical science knows how to cure spear wounds.'

A caveman rubs two sticks together and gets a computer.

"All I'm saying is now is the time to develop the technology to deflect an asteroid."

Unfortunately, napkins hadn't been invented yet, so good ideas were quickly forgotten.

"Your wheel idea was a huge hit, so what have you got for me this time?"

'I'm telling you Dad: Walking upright and using tools is the way of the future...'

'It was fun to make bujt don't see any possible use for it in the future.'

'Egad! It's the ghosts of sanity past!'

'Much to his disappointment, Thag's coffee percolator was an invention ahead of its time.

The Land Before Mimes.

'- and what makes you think they must have been TALL?'

"Oooh... bacon!"

'I'm afraid this is going to lead to regulation of my invention.'

The first Homo Erectus

'We'll never understand these kids. It's the old evolution gap.'