Past Ponderer Gifts

Historical memory is on life support.

'Egad! It's the ghosts of sanity past!'

"The Founding Fathers?! Ha! That’ll never stick!"

The past only looks good when you're living in the present.

'Remembering the good ol' days ... as recently as yesterday.'

History Department: 'I used to be a revisionist myself, you know!'

"I think you're suffering from nostalgia, Mr. Prentice."

"I like our history teacher, but he talks too much about the past."

"You can see my childhood here."

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

'He's the best sheepdog I ever had.'

Pre-Historic Gentleman's Duel

'We never had all these labour-saving devices in my young day!'

"My father was a Brexit negotiator and his father before him..."

"It is just as the Oracle foretold!"

'Congratulations, you've got the job. Unfortunately though, you'll be constantly late, and we'll fire you in two months.'

'In this next precedent, an attorney lost his frivolous lawsuit complaint and his opponent then filed a frivolous 'frivolous lawsuit' lawsuit.'

'I say we try it.'

"I'll have dessert first."

"What's with kids nowadays? Walking upright's not good enough for you?"

"Sure, but what have you invented lately?"

'Just one God? - But won't he be outnumbered?'

'He's always looking for an argument!'

Lady Jane Grey

'The hardest part of being a street crazy is picking each day's sign.'

'You'll be going on a long journey this Christmas.'

Jesus wept

"... and finally, to my children I leave the four mosquitos and the horsefly in the top left corner."

"I'm having trouble with my long-term memory -- I can't remember my earlier reincarnations."

"Well, for starters, Matt has been showing definite improvement in risk-taking."

'Though we must innovate, and though we must grow, we must never lose sight of our core mediocrities.'

'Have you found a precedent? Yes, you did the same crime in 1974.'

The End is Near.

"I'm basically happy but I'd like a most cost-effective personality."