Pub Ponderer Gifts

"Beats me - I've never dealt with a sovereign debt crisis before."

'The shrink said my holiday was hereditary - my family.'

Parson wishing to seem as though he is not drinking

'I consult doctors, I'm a caddie.'

"The problem is: reasonable men may differ on what the hell reason is!"

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

Wildlife

That party went well.

Water Gardening: One thing is certain - you will find the peace and tranquility of water an almost irresistible attraction.

Frog to other frog: 'Hey, nice pad.'

'Thanks, we really appreciate this. Yeah, the middle button. Don't worry, it's auto-focus - just aim and shoot.'

Beginning Yarder.

But there are other pleasures still for the fisherman's delight....for nature is everywhere about him.

"This blood knot ought to be re-named the blood, sweat and tears knot."

Business Duck

"I can't wait to start growing limbs so that I can use a tablet..."

'According to the latest poll, 64% of the public don't pay any attention to polls...'

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

'My horoscope said I was going to make someone happy today.'

'Euro's down against the pound, dollars up against yen, pound is... what the hell don't expect cheap meals in France!'

'Its that final touch that makes it seem just like a natural pond.'

Six frogs leap off their lily pads.

'I'll say this for you young Thoreu - he certainly does make good use of his pond.'

Ricochet

'Dang it, nothing but junk mail'

"Of course it's not easy to read the body language of someone who's basically inert."

Gardener digging and finding pipes.

Water Gardening: And you will find yourself thinking over many garden problems at the waterside.

'It's so embarrassing. My mother had my tadpole tail bronzed!'

'Today, stocks dropped on poll numbers that 60% of people expected it to drop.'

Vernal Pond: Here today. . . gone tomorrow.

'Do you ever wonder about this whole 'money' thing?'

Six months later they would be sharing the Nobel Prize, but for now all they could do was stare in amazement at what they had discovered...two incredibly well preserved specimens from the styrofoam age.'

'Not right now, Timmy. First we're going to work on fielding ground balls. Maybe later we can discuss collective bargaining.'

"Why don't you paint a picture – it'll last longer."