Pollster Ponderer Gifts

'Today, stocks dropped on poll numbers that 60% of people expected it to drop.'

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

"The university said he was a climate change denier so remove the statue."

"What was I thinking?!"

That party went well.

Plan to Split California into Six States Proposed....

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

The Lessons of VietnamThe Lessons of Iran and ContraThe Lessons of Iraq.

"You can't possibly know how I feel. Everybody likes you."

'I'm 60-40 in favor of the 60.'

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

"Still, he might be remembered as the 'no cloning' President."

"I'm both too liberal to be preppy and too conservative to be trendy."

'According to the latest poll, 64% of the public don't pay any attention to polls...'

"Those are insightful and legitimate questions about our country, Tommy, and if times were different, your mom and I probably wouldn't have to report you to the government for asking them!"

'Social and political revolution? Check out our 'Do It Yourself' section.'

The Politics of Food.

'THAT'S the Holy Land? - You're kidding, right?'

"These brisk fall afternoons remind me of Chekhov, which reminds me of Putin, then Trump, the alt-right, facism, nuclear weapons ... let's go home."

"It's great the way that computer algorithms allow the internet to feed me with opinions that reinforce the ones I've already got - all on my phone!"

'What's the chance of getting a latte around here?'

"The first thing we should do is get you two into a good mutual fund. Let me get out the 'Magic 8 Ball' and we'll fun some options."

Bizarre sequence of computer-generated random numbers

George Orwell

'Perhaps we do need a plan 'B'.'

"Woah - random!"

'Today's Odds' sign above a copier showing various odds for machine's malfunctions

'Don't mind me....I'll just sit here while you work on homeland security, unemployment, health care and your many other prbblems!'

'Do you want to be red Tory or blue Labour?'

"Of course it's not easy to read the body language of someone who's basically inert."

"Don't mention Pat Buchanan, pro or con."

Market Research - "I'm trying to remember to pick up a loaf of bread, but there's a 38% probability that I'll forget."

A man holding a pro-life sign stands above a group of beaten people who are pro choice.

Was it wrong to get involved in Iraq in the first place...or did we do the right thing?