Imperial Unit Ponderer Gifts

The Why-Can't-This-Event-Be-In-Miles-Like-Other-Sports-In-This-Country 10K

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

"Exactly how undecided would you say you were at this precise moment?"

"What's your favorite planet, Randy?" "There is only one answer, little buddy. There is only one planet full of lush, green forests and beautiful, windswept ocean vista... all of which are natural aphrodisiacs that inspire lovers, philosophers and poets." "You know, Pandora is not a real planet." "I'm talking about Earth, you... Do you ever go outside?"

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

"What if Newton came up with a different idea from a fallen apple."

'I'm 60-40 in favor of the 60.'

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

NASA, 'I thought I smelled oxygen!'

"Today we'll examine that age old question of robot accomplishment: programming or processor?"

"Of course you can't put your finger on it. It's a hypothetical particle."

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

'Euro's down against the pound, dollars up against yen, pound is... what the hell don't expect cheap meals in France!'

'Would you like your dividend in pennies, nickels or bitcoin?'

How do you fell about buying your own health insurance?

"... and come out fighting, boys."

Passing the Pension Time Bomb

'When bad 401ks happen to good people'

Time, Temp, Today's Neutrino Mass

"Apparently, over two-thirds of the Earth's surface is covered with water!"

Are you aware? The Higgs Boson was thought to exist even through no one had seen it!

"I'm the ghost of your future retirement."

Retirement Issues

"The real trick will be enjoying retirement long enough before the Government goes belly up."

'I re-invested what was left of my 401K into returnable pop cans. I figure by the time I retire I should have about three dollars.'

'No, I'm not into astronomy. That telescope is for you to see your new parking spot.'

"You're right! It is much easier to explain it this way!"