Unhappily Married Gifts

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"It was romantic during dinner, but now it's getting kind of creepy."

"Are you crazy? I can’t tell her that!"

Couple who have confused their baby's pram and the lawn mower.

"Doctor - at home I get this nagging pain... what do you recommend?"

"Well, we're down to bare brick, natural wood, and raw nerves."

"Yes dear, you have worked very hard on the garden. Unfortunately though, you've put the compost on the weeds and the weed killer on my best roses."

"Yes dear, I know lots of people have a second honeymoon. But we only got back from our first one last week."

'We just don't talk anymore, Gerald!'

"That doesn't look like setting the table to me."

"I wish I'd had the eye test before I got married."

'I'm sick and tired of you and your 'get rich quick' schemes.'

"The toaster your brother gave us is beginning to get on my nerves."

"What does our sessions give you?"

"You've done an absolutely fabulous job with the house, Anne, and Gordon's so improved!"

"We've only been married three years and she's already giving me gbh of the ear 'oles."

'This rebate check isn't big enough for both of us.'

"Yes, ma'am, we do take reservations...and what's your husband's name?"

"I'm starting to believe that this relationship was doomed from the start...!"

'May I leave early today, Sir? The market is down and my wife is alone...'

"Marriage and water, I find, don't mix."

"I've taken the liberty of adding eight thousand dollars to your check so that, while you're stunned with disbelief, I can bang your wife."

"They're going through a bitter marriage."

Health and Safety to Ban Marriage

"Whoa, someone's been doing some gathering."

'I just don't understand... We hate the same movies, books, art, music, friends and relatives, and we agree that the world's a hopeless mess. With all that in common, why is our marriage falling apart?'

'... all you have to say is QUACK, QUACK, QUACK!'

'The only thing we have in common anymore is the kids are driving us both nuts!'

"Now, Harold, you know you're not supposed to hibernate angry."

"You be the Boogey man tonight!"

Bachelor Cake

"Henpecked?! Don't get me started about being hen-pecked buddy!"

'What do you expect Marjorie, I am a grub.'