Unexpected Singledom Gifts

'I'll have a double.'

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

Life is for the birds.

The secret of living happily ever after....Do it alone.

"It's the sequel to 'Cooking for One'."

Just married and Just Single and Happy.

"Alone bad. Boyfriend good!"

"All the good ones are either married, gay or Viggo Mortensen."

"Yes, I'm alone."

Still searching for my Prince Charming.

"Life is too short! Why should I waste my time frantically searching for a mate when I can create art instead..."

No boyfriend, can't be bothered t-shirt

"Do you know what girls want?"

Desert Planet

"At this point, I think a rich lightweight would be fine."

"Alright! Fine! ONE man is an island!"

"Honey who needs a man when you've got... Rhythm!"

Cupid

"I had half a date last weekend."

Speed Dating Disasters

"I had guys chase my tail, then one day I thought, hey, dummy, get rid of the middlemen and chase your own tail!"

'On the contrary, soap operas are a great time-saver -- you don't have to get married and have your OWN problems.'

"Being a refrigerator magnet is fine, but I wish, for just one day, I could be a chick magnet."

"Do you think solitude drives you insane?"

'Are you seeing anybody?'

'We fed your application in, and the computer started leaking slime.'

'Complements of the big smelly gentleman.'

"The dinner date was a disaster! I realised he was still a "Mama's Boy" when I saw he was expecting me to regurgitate his food..."

He's Tasty!

"Finally - my dating app just launched a 'Why am I seeing this loser?' feature."

'Not only is your mojo not working, it apparently has been unemployed for years.'