Navigating Singlehood Gifts

'This is the fourth single woman to attack the Valentine's display this week.'

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

Life is for the birds.

"It's the sequel to 'Cooking for One'."

"Yes, I'm alone."

"All the good ones are either married, gay or Viggo Mortensen."

"Alone bad. Boyfriend good!"

Still searching for my Prince Charming.

"Life is too short! Why should I waste my time frantically searching for a mate when I can create art instead..."

No boyfriend, can't be bothered t-shirt

"I had guys chase my tail, then one day I thought, hey, dummy, get rid of the middlemen and chase your own tail!"

When did this date go down the toilet? I assumed when you went to the men's room that you dropped it there.

"At this point, I think a rich lightweight would be fine."

'On the contrary, soap operas are a great time-saver -- you don't have to get married and have your OWN problems.'

"I had half a date last weekend."

"Honey who needs a man when you've got... Rhythm!"

"Do you know what girls want?"

"Being a refrigerator magnet is fine, but I wish, for just one day, I could be a chick magnet."

'Are you seeing anybody?'

'Complements of the big smelly gentleman.'

'We fed your application in, and the computer started leaking slime.'

I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy. Which part do you miss most? Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what tv shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission? Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors.

A father and son in a car packed with thier possessions

"Rose wants to bring up the child on her own."

'I'm thinking the bee beard is the main reson that you're still single'

"I'm a free woman. Edgar tried to cross the road."

'And then after we were married for a couple of years your father ran away to join the circus.'

"The dinner date was a disaster! I realised he was still a "Mama's Boy" when I saw he was expecting me to regurgitate his food..."

Two children arguing - 'My dad's more absent than your dad'

She hated first dates. She always ended up sounding desperate.

Augmented reality check

"Finally - my dating app just launched a 'Why am I seeing this loser?' feature."

He's Tasty!

'Dear Dairy, Well... I met someone, and I think she could be Mrs. Alright.'

'Not only is your mojo not working, it apparently has been unemployed for years.'