Embracing Singlehood Gifts

"Honey who needs a man when you've got... Rhythm!"

'I live with grand fantasies Harold.'

'No computer, no cellphone, no fax machine... no wonder I'm still single!'

No boyfriend, can't be bothered t-shirt

"Life is too short! Why should I waste my time frantically searching for a mate when I can create art instead..."

Life is for the birds.

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

"It's the sequel to 'Cooking for One'."

Just married and Just Single and Happy.

"All the good ones are either married, gay or Viggo Mortensen."

"Alone bad. Boyfriend good!"

"Yes, I'm alone."

Still searching for my Prince Charming.

"I had guys chase my tail, then one day I thought, hey, dummy, get rid of the middlemen and chase your own tail!"

"Alright! Fine! ONE man is an island!"

'On the contrary, soap operas are a great time-saver -- you don't have to get married and have your OWN problems.'

"I had half a date last weekend."

"Do you know what girls want?"

Wedding - throw the bouquet and the little black book.

"At this point, I think a rich lightweight would be fine."

"Being a refrigerator magnet is fine, but I wish, for just one day, I could be a chick magnet."

'Are you seeing anybody?'

"Rose wants to bring up the child on her own."

"I'm a free woman. Edgar tried to cross the road."

'We fed your application in, and the computer started leaking slime.'

'Complements of the big smelly gentleman.'

"The dinner date was a disaster! I realised he was still a "Mama's Boy" when I saw he was expecting me to regurgitate his food..."

'And then after we were married for a couple of years your father ran away to join the circus.'

"Finally - my dating app just launched a 'Why am I seeing this loser?' feature."

'Dear Dairy, Well... I met someone, and I think she could be Mrs. Alright.'

He's Tasty!

Augmented reality check

She hated first dates. She always ended up sounding desperate.

"I used to think maybe I was the problem but then I realized she was just a bitch."

'Not only is your mojo not working, it apparently has been unemployed for years.'