Embracing Single Life Gifts

"Cute... But way too young."

"When you're single, you're neither loved nor hated."

"Yes, I'm alone."

"When I ask myself out, I always say yesh...."

Yes, it's a small nest. I've given up on relationships: I've built myself a bachelor pad...

"I had guys chase my tail, then one day I thought, hey, dummy, get rid of the middlemen and chase your own tail!"

Life is for the birds.

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

"It's the sequel to 'Cooking for One'."

Still searching for my Prince Charming.

"Alone bad. Boyfriend good!"

"All the good ones are either married, gay or Viggo Mortensen."

"Life is too short! Why should I waste my time frantically searching for a mate when I can create art instead..."

No boyfriend, can't be bothered t-shirt

'On the contrary, soap operas are a great time-saver -- you don't have to get married and have your OWN problems.'

"Do you know what girls want?"

'Yeah, but this time she just said no -- there wasn't any hysterical laughter!'

"Honey who needs a man when you've got... Rhythm!"

"At this point, I think a rich lightweight would be fine."

"Alright! Fine! ONE man is an island!"

Wedding - throw the bouquet and the little black book.

"Being a refrigerator magnet is fine, but I wish, for just one day, I could be a chick magnet."

'Are you seeing anybody?'

'We fed your application in, and the computer started leaking slime.'

'Complements of the big smelly gentleman.'

"The dinner date was a disaster! I realised he was still a "Mama's Boy" when I saw he was expecting me to regurgitate his food..."

Augmented reality check

He's Tasty!

'Not only is your mojo not working, it apparently has been unemployed for years.'

"I used to think maybe I was the problem but then I realized she was just a bitch."

She hated first dates. She always ended up sounding desperate.

"Finally - my dating app just launched a 'Why am I seeing this loser?' feature."

'Dear Dairy, Well... I met someone, and I think she could be Mrs. Alright.'

"He's your type--gorgeous, successful, and totally unavailable."

Bachelors talking about fashionable life versus marriage