Unexpected Singledom Prints

'I'll have a double.'

Life is for the birds.

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

The secret of living happily ever after....Do it alone.

"It's the sequel to 'Cooking for One'."

Just married and Just Single and Happy.

"Alone bad. Boyfriend good!"

"All the good ones are either married, gay or Viggo Mortensen."

"Yes, I'm alone."

Still searching for my Prince Charming.

"Life is too short! Why should I waste my time frantically searching for a mate when I can create art instead..."

No boyfriend, can't be bothered t-shirt

"At this point, I think a rich lightweight would be fine."

Speed Dating Disasters

"I had half a date last weekend."

"Alright! Fine! ONE man is an island!"

"I had guys chase my tail, then one day I thought, hey, dummy, get rid of the middlemen and chase your own tail!"

'On the contrary, soap operas are a great time-saver -- you don't have to get married and have your OWN problems.'

Cupid

"Do you know what girls want?"

Desert Planet

"Honey who needs a man when you've got... Rhythm!"

When did this date go down the toilet? I assumed when you went to the men's room that you dropped it there.

"Do you think solitude drives you insane?"

"Being a refrigerator magnet is fine, but I wish, for just one day, I could be a chick magnet."

'You only love me because you haven't got a boyfriend!'

'Are you seeing anybody?'

'We fed your application in, and the computer started leaking slime.'

I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy. Which part do you miss most? Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what tv shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission? Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors.

'Complements of the big smelly gentleman.'

"The dinner date was a disaster! I realised he was still a "Mama's Boy" when I saw he was expecting me to regurgitate his food..."

I'm leaving the band in order to pursue a solo career.

"This'll be our first Christmas together."

He's Tasty!

'Not only is your mojo not working, it apparently has been unemployed for years.'