Turkey Farming Gifts

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

How to Deal With Leftover Turkey

'Chicken Farms - Pecking Order'

"Call me selfish if you want, but I have no issue with spoiling the farmer's Christmas lunch: I'm out of here..."

'We can always cook it one half at a time.'

The great bit pie chart of holiday season dining.

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

"But but ... if we remove all the additives there'll be nothing left!"

"I guess it must be that new growth hormone the farmer gave me!"

"Talk about close calls! Harry, tell them about last Thanksgiving!"

"Yeah, our garden is always a mess: We can't stop ourselves foraging for worms..."

"Never say you're stuffed!"

"Mum, what is a nugget?"

"For keyhole turkey carving we use a 12 mm port in each flank and third in the midline."

Dr. Frankenstein makes the battery hen

"This? It's my Thanksgiving outfit. It's already pre-stained in cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie."

'Let's go, Denmore. The free-range chickens are stampeding towards the canyon.'

Roscoe's Great Escape

'Haven't you ever heard of warmed up turkey?'

"Hundreds of eggs a year, and I've never seen a vet. The Mare has one foal, and it's the Mayo Clinic."

"What's the occasion?"

A Dog Is For Life Not Just For Christmas.

God perfects his turkey design.

Turkey Dinner and gravity

'I don't know what happened in there, Stanley... But I've completely lost the urge to eat. I mean it - I feel stuffed! Supposed to come back right before thanksgiving for a follow-up though.'

"Eggs, eggs, eggs...that Delia Smith's ruining my life."

"Hippity hoppity. Easter's on its way."

Maternity ward on the farm.

Chicken Feed

"He bought a thermometer for me, and I'm not even sick."

'Next year we'll bring the turkey.'