Turkey Farmer Gifts

'Haven't you noticed that lately, Farmer Jones has been humming Christmas Carols and looking at us strangely?'

Gobble

'If I find you're hiding my escaped prize Christmas turkeys there'll be hell to pay!'

"This one's self-basting."

Snood

Roscoe's Great Escape

"Call me selfish if you want, but I have no issue with spoiling the farmer's Christmas lunch: I'm out of here..."

"You thought who was extinct dear?"

"We're raising them for turkey bacon."

"I guess it must be that new growth hormone the farmer gave me!"

Turkey Owl

"Since no family can come this year, I thought I'd invite you to dinner instead."

'They call it the holidays, but we call it 'The Purge.'"

"Turkeys don't just build escape tunnels without a little help."

Where ground turkey comes from...

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

Don't mind us. We're just trying to eat more locally grown food.

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

'Chicken Farms - Pecking Order'

'Superstock'

Where Deviled Eggs come from

"I can assure you ladies all our eggs come from free range chickens."

'Can he come out and play?'

"Pumpkin spice has been very good to me."

'She looks just like you when you were that age.'

'Stove Top Stuffing! My favourite!'

The great bit pie chart of holiday season dining.

'First give me the food - then you get the egg.'

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

"Is his nose locally grown?"

"Well, you certainly seem to have a lot to offer this company, and, of course, the truffles are a hell of a plus."

Bonita shows up late for the girls' Thursday night 'Jam Session'.

'I admire your can-cock-a-doodle-do attitude.'

"Yeah, our garden is always a mess: We can't stop ourselves foraging for worms..."

"I've had 720 children. I hope they're all doing well."