Soybean Farmer Gifts

"My first soybean."

Don't mind us. We're just trying to eat more locally grown food.

"Westminster's over, Shep-it's all about possums now."

'I'm into natural foods, Joe -- give me a martini with a soybean in it.'

"Is his nose locally grown?"

"Call me selfish if you want, but I have no issue with spoiling the farmer's Christmas lunch: I'm out of here..."

"I'm now too old to produce milk, and I can't afford to retire as yet, so I've had to diversify..."

"I guess it must be that new growth hormone the farmer gave me!"

'They send you into the ketchup department? HA! I'M going into pizza!'

Roscoe's Great Escape

'And this is the secret of how our company gets through hard times: we grow all our own food!'

"Must've planted those seeds upside down..."

Norman's decision to raise chickens first in the back yard, then the front yard and eventually the living room would cause great dismay the day his car keys went missing.

'Real? No. They're all made out of soy and tofu. We wanted to crack the meatless industry up a few notches.'

'May I strongly suggest the soy burger?'

Rob and Maria dated for months, until the day he realized she was made entirely out of soy.

"It's amazing what they can do with soy, but it's just not the same."

Too Much SOY

'Does it come in soy lite?'

"Since no family can come this year, I thought I'd invite you to dinner instead."

Turkey Owl

"We're raising them for turkey bacon."

'I'm into natural foods, Joe -- give me a martini with a soybean in it.'

"Turkeys don't just build escape tunnels without a little help."

"How's the soya, dear?"

'More versatile than you think - the building is made of tofu.'

When vegans pose for photos.

'Don't worry - it's made entirely from soya-based meat substitute.'

Bar Code Harvester

'Haven't you noticed that lately, Farmer Jones has been humming Christmas Carols and looking at us strangely?'

Drought ruined corn crop.

'If I find you're hiding my escaped prize Christmas turkeys there'll be hell to pay!'

"This is awful! When I asked for a pony, I never thought they'd get me one!"

'Easiest job I've ever had: Farmer Jones is paying me $5 an hour to be a scarecrow...'

Snood