Soybean Enthusiast Gifts

'More versatile than you think - the building is made of tofu.'

"States of tofu"

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

Clown's Comedy Fart.

When the ship needed to go faster than Warp Speed, the crew ate lots of pungent beans.

'I'm into natural foods, Joe -- give me a martini with a soybean in it.'

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

"I want to spill the beans, but I'm waiting till I have access to classified or sensitive beans."

Where Jelly Beans Come From....

'How about a windfall tax on baked beans?'

Mistakes were made. We were abducted. Over the coming days, even the inattentative reader will likely notice a seeming problem with this week's comic strips: They pertain to Thanksgiving, which happened last week. What would explain this? We cannot tell a lie: We were apprehended, drugged, taken to a distant planet, served too many soy products, forced to watch reality tv, then returned disoriented and confused about the calendar. we absolutely assure you that's what happened and not, as some cy

'The pound looks strong to day. Yes, against the Zambesi bean.'

"I'm now too old to produce milk, and I can't afford to retire as yet, so I've had to diversify..."

'Ah, Garbanzo, truly you are a noble bean.'

'Sorry about that - Lenny accidentally used jumping beans.'

"Whole bean or ground relentlessly to dust?"

Can I get you another coffee?

'No more beans this week, I think, Matilda.'

"I do a lot for charity but I don't like to talk about it. . ."

Coffee Overload: 'I'll have a low fat soy latte, no sugar, two biscotti...make that a Columbian-Kenyan bean bend...oh make it snappy, I'm in a hurry!'

'May I strongly suggest the soy burger?'

Rob and Maria dated for months, until the day he realized she was made entirely out of soy.

Middle Distance Runners

"Our food supervisor used to be a military cook."

"Ahhh, the sweet smell of success!"

I've got a problem – with me. Counseling costs extra. I always hated BMW owners. But one day I woke up and realized I drive a Saab. People who vacation in the Hamptons give me hives, but I've got a summer spot in Santa Cruz. I protested against big corporate oil companies … wearing a North Face jacket and Nike high tops! Don't you realize what I've become? I'm an upwardly mobile hippy! Death to the huppy. Hates fancy coffee drinks, loves soy milk.

Before the Salivating Dogs

'The End Justifies The Beans.

Too Much SOY

1907: Thanks to his dog, Edward Fishkopp discovers the rocket drive.

'Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday you like beans.' 'Now you don't.'

"It's amazing what they can do with soy, but it's just not the same."

'Does it come in soy lite?'

'Soy milk, soy burgers...imagine being replaced by a bean.'

Oh, sure, blame the dog