Soy Bean Enthusiast Gifts

Born to raise soy beans.

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

"States of tofu"

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

Clown's Comedy Fart.

When the ship needed to go faster than Warp Speed, the crew ate lots of pungent beans.

"I've decided to make myself another cup of coffee!"

'Guess how many I ATE.'

'I'm into natural foods, Joe -- give me a martini with a soybean in it.'

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

"I want to spill the beans, but I'm waiting till I have access to classified or sensitive beans."

"I'm now too old to produce milk, and I can't afford to retire as yet, so I've had to diversify..."

'How about a windfall tax on baked beans?'

Where Jelly Beans Come From....

Mistakes were made. We were abducted. Over the coming days, even the inattentative reader will likely notice a seeming problem with this week's comic strips: They pertain to Thanksgiving, which happened last week. What would explain this? We cannot tell a lie: We were apprehended, drugged, taken to a distant planet, served too many soy products, forced to watch reality tv, then returned disoriented and confused about the calendar. we absolutely assure you that's what happened and not, as some cy

'The pound looks strong to day. Yes, against the Zambesi bean.'

'Ah, Garbanzo, truly you are a noble bean.'

"Whole bean or ground relentlessly to dust?"

'Sorry about that - Lenny accidentally used jumping beans.'

"I do a lot for charity but I don't like to talk about it. . ."

'No more beans this week, I think, Matilda.'

Can I get you another coffee?

Coffee Overload: 'I'll have a low fat soy latte, no sugar, two biscotti...make that a Columbian-Kenyan bean bend...oh make it snappy, I'm in a hurry!'

Rob and Maria dated for months, until the day he realized she was made entirely out of soy.

'May I strongly suggest the soy burger?'

Middle Distance Runners

I've got a problem – with me. Counseling costs extra. I always hated BMW owners. But one day I woke up and realized I drive a Saab. People who vacation in the Hamptons give me hives, but I've got a summer spot in Santa Cruz. I protested against big corporate oil companies … wearing a North Face jacket and Nike high tops! Don't you realize what I've become? I'm an upwardly mobile hippy! Death to the huppy. Hates fancy coffee drinks, loves soy milk.

People are a lot like jelly beans...Soft and chewy!

"Ahhh, the sweet smell of success!"

'The End Justifies The Beans.

"I ain't particular, but are you sure a '71 claret is the right choice for these here beans?"

"Our food supervisor used to be a military cook."

Before the Salivating Dogs

1907: Thanks to his dog, Edward Fishkopp discovers the rocket drive.

'Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday you like beans.' 'Now you don't.'