Turkey Chef Gifts

"We got him through a grassroots recruitment scheme..."

Barbequer wears apron with 'Beer in -beer out' slogan.

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

"I've just barbecued my head again."

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

Turkey Autopsy

The great bit pie chart of holiday season dining.

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

'We can always cook it one half at a time.'

"Call me selfish if you want, but I have no issue with spoiling the farmer's Christmas lunch: I'm out of here..."

The simultaneous development of dining and pomposity.

"I guess it must be that new growth hormone the farmer gave me!"

"Talk about close calls! Harry, tell them about last Thanksgiving!"

"Never say you're stuffed!"

'This month I'll be cooked & my bones ripped apart in a wishing contest.'

'Haven't you ever heard of warmed up turkey?'

"This? It's my Thanksgiving outfit. It's already pre-stained in cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie."

'I told you I only cook with my mother's Italian spices. She just left Naples and should be here with them in about eight hours.'

Roscoe's Great Escape

"For keyhole turkey carving we use a 12 mm port in each flank and third in the midline."

A Dog Is For Life Not Just For Christmas.

"He bought a thermometer for me, and I'm not even sick."

Ineffective Turkey Disguises

'I don't know what happened in there, Stanley... But I've completely lost the urge to eat. I mean it - I feel stuffed! Supposed to come back right before thanksgiving for a follow-up though.'

'I wish John would stop using that gourmet pet food that makes gravy when you add water.'

"Hippity hoppity. Easter's on its way."

Turkey Farm Inc: 'And guess what you get for a Christmas bonus?'

Turkey Dinner and gravity

'Next year we'll bring the turkey.'