Turkey Connoisseur Gifts

"Finally the wishbone I'd always dreamed of."

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

"Regular service or affected?"

'It's not what you think. It's not about our liberation.'

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

'Stove Top Stuffing! My favourite!'

The great bit pie chart of holiday season dining.

"Talk about close calls! Harry, tell them about last Thanksgiving!"

"I guess it must be that new growth hormone the farmer gave me!"

"Never say you're stuffed!"

"For keyhole turkey carving we use a 12 mm port in each flank and third in the midline."

'Haven't you ever heard of warmed up turkey?'

"Looks like you forgot to pack your lunch again Bob!"

Before and After Holiday Diet

A Dog Is For Life Not Just For Christmas.

'You broke your wishbone. I'd suggest making a wish.'

"Hippity hoppity. Easter's on its way."

"No thanks. I had a cracker in April."

Ineffective Turkey Disguises

'I don't know what happened in there, Stanley... But I've completely lost the urge to eat. I mean it - I feel stuffed! Supposed to come back right before thanksgiving for a follow-up though.'

Turkey Farm Inc: 'And guess what you get for a Christmas bonus?'

"He bought a thermometer for me, and I'm not even sick."

"Do you want the rest of this mouse? It tastes gamey to me."

God perfects his turkey design.

"A reading from the ax of the apostles."

Joe Hundredaire

'Next year we'll bring the turkey.'

Turkey Dinner and gravity

Holiday Overkill.

"Bad news - your DNA was delicious."

Christmas escape plan