Turkey Connoisseur T-Shirts

"Finally the wishbone I'd always dreamed of."

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

"Regular service or affected?"

'It's not what you think. It's not about our liberation.'

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

The great bit pie chart of holiday season dining.

"Talk about close calls! Harry, tell them about last Thanksgiving!"

"I guess it must be that new growth hormone the farmer gave me!"

"Never say you're stuffed!"

'Haven't you ever heard of warmed up turkey?'

"For keyhole turkey carving we use a 12 mm port in each flank and third in the midline."

"Looks like you forgot to pack your lunch again Bob!"

A Dog Is For Life Not Just For Christmas.

'You broke your wishbone. I'd suggest making a wish.'

Joe Hundredaire

"He bought a thermometer for me, and I'm not even sick."

'I don't know what happened in there, Stanley... But I've completely lost the urge to eat. I mean it - I feel stuffed! Supposed to come back right before thanksgiving for a follow-up though.'

God perfects his turkey design.

Turkey Dinner and gravity

Holiday Overkill.

Turkey Farm Inc: 'And guess what you get for a Christmas bonus?'

Ineffective Turkey Disguises

"Hippity hoppity. Easter's on its way."

"No thanks. I had a cracker in April."

"Do you want the rest of this mouse? It tastes gamey to me."

'Next year we'll bring the turkey.'

"Bad news - your DNA was delicious."

Christmas escape plan

'I don't want to eat this. I want to eat organic foods.'