Turkey Admirer T-Shirts

"Should we worry that the farmer "liked" our selfie, and commented about how delicious we look?"

"Well, it's time to head off for the holidays."

'You broke your wishbone. I'd suggest making a wish.'

'It's not what you think. It's not about our liberation.'

Refugees Fleeing Ethnic Roasting Somewhere Along Rt. 67, Connecticut

Try avoiding going over Christmas

'Do you think they'll feed us something special for Christmas dinner?'

Holiday Overkill.

Mourning and Celebrating the Life of the Christmas Turkey

"I hope I can make this work, with Thanksgiving just around the corner."

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

The great bit pie chart of holiday season dining.

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

"Talk about close calls! Harry, tell them about last Thanksgiving!"

"I guess it must be that new growth hormone the farmer gave me!"

"Never say you're stuffed!"

'When they start calling you a splendid bird, you know you're in trouble.'

'Haven't you ever heard of warmed up turkey?'

"For keyhole turkey carving we use a 12 mm port in each flank and third in the midline."

A Dog Is For Life Not Just For Christmas.

Fun on the pyramids

Turkey Farm Inc: 'And guess what you get for a Christmas bonus?'

"Hippity hoppity. Easter's on its way."

Turkey Dinner and gravity

'Next year we'll bring the turkey.'

'I don't know what happened in there, Stanley... But I've completely lost the urge to eat. I mean it - I feel stuffed! Supposed to come back right before thanksgiving for a follow-up though.'

God perfects his turkey design.

Ineffective Turkey Disguises

"He bought a thermometer for me, and I'm not even sick."

"Yeah, but the one in Vegas has an endless shrimp buffet."

Christmas escape plan

"Bad news - your DNA was delicious."

"Not a good sign. It's a box of pop-up thermometers."

'My Christmas bonus.'