Turkey Lover Gifts

"I've gained ten pounds!" "Isn't that what the turkey weighed?"

"If I acquire tech skills, I'll be too valuable to be someone's Thanksgiving feast."

'Oh, she's not a witch or anything -- she just served leftover turkey five days in a row.'

'Without running tests I'd say you're eating too much turkey.'

Thanks And Giving.

Turkey Farm - They gobble - You gobble.

The great bit pie chart of holiday season dining.

'With Christmas products already in stores, Tom thought he was off the hook...'

'This always happens at Christmas!'

'I'm hoping the credit crunch will lead to a drop in knife crime this Christmas!'

'Next year we'll bring the turkey.'

Holiday Overkill.

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

Too full after after Christmas dinner!

"Talk about close calls! Harry, tell them about last Thanksgiving!"

"I guess it must be that new growth hormone the farmer gave me!"

"Oh look! Farmer Bob invited me to Thanksgiving dinner!"

"What a nightmare! I dreamt I was given a choice of being roasted or deep fried!"

"Do you take Tom for better or worse. Through sickness and health. Until Thanksgiving do you part?"

"Let them sleep 10 more minutes then fetch my shotgun."

"I've tried to tweet, but it always ends up as a gobble."

"Thanksgiving's not so great. Sure, you get a nice turkey dinner, but your mom goes on a diet the next day and takes you with her."

Thanksgiving at the Gobbler Club

Post-Turkey Stress Disorder

"What does 'post-Christmas' mean?"

"Heads it's your year, tails it's your year."

"Hippity hoppity. Easter's on its way."

A dinner table in the middle of a boxing ring

"Who's your neck guy?"

"Gee, I never looked at it from your point of view."

'Wow, it's a hot one today! Just let me check my pop-up thermometer...'

Noahs Ark

Turkey under mistletoe with sign that says: 'Kiss your ass goodbye'.

"They yell at me a lot, but I've got a job until after all the turkey holidays!"

"Oooooh, Thanksgiving feast? What can I bring?"