Turkey Fanatic Gifts

I agree that every new day we get from here is an unexpected gift, but let's not say "It's all gravy from here."

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

'It's not what you think. It's not about our liberation.'

The great bit pie chart of holiday season dining.

'Stove Top Stuffing! My favourite!'

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

"I guess it must be that new growth hormone the farmer gave me!"

"Talk about close calls! Harry, tell them about last Thanksgiving!"

"Never say you're stuffed!"

"For keyhole turkey carving we use a 12 mm port in each flank and third in the midline."

'When they start calling you a splendid bird, you know you're in trouble.'

'Haven't you ever heard of warmed up turkey?'

Before and After Holiday Diet

A Dog Is For Life Not Just For Christmas.

'You broke your wishbone. I'd suggest making a wish.'

'I don't know what happened in there, Stanley... But I've completely lost the urge to eat. I mean it - I feel stuffed! Supposed to come back right before thanksgiving for a follow-up though.'

'Next year we'll bring the turkey.'

"A reading from the ax of the apostles."

Turkey Dinner and gravity

Ineffective Turkey Disguises

"He bought a thermometer for me, and I'm not even sick."

"Hippity hoppity. Easter's on its way."

Turkey Farm Inc: 'And guess what you get for a Christmas bonus?'

God perfects his turkey design.

Holiday Overkill.

Christmas escape plan

"Bad news - your DNA was delicious."

And then I said, "Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble ..." So he said "Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble ..." Of course, I had to say, "Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble ..." It happens every year -0 the turkey never fails to put him to sleep!"

Turkey under mistletoe with sign that says: 'Kiss your ass goodbye'.

"That's him office...the peeping tom!"

'Want to come to the Thanksgiving play, Grandma? I have a real meaty part.'

See? Just trace your feathers like this, and you've drawn a person!

'Do you think they'll feed us something special for Christmas dinner?'

'My Christmas bonus.'