Big Turkey Fan Gifts

"Thanks Giving."

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

Litter Tray Training

Stress Busters - Doodle Maze - Leopards

Tigers brass band, "Tiger rag-that's what it's all about."

'Why did the chicken cross the road?'

'It's not what you think. It's not about our liberation.'

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

'Stove Top Stuffing! My favourite!'

The great bit pie chart of holiday season dining.

'Pumpkin pie isn't dessert. It's another vegetable.'

"I guess it must be that new growth hormone the farmer gave me!"

'I don't know how I could've forgotten my lines. I was all ears when they gave them to me.'

"Talk about close calls! Harry, tell them about last Thanksgiving!"

'Okay wait. Screaming and failing is for large cats...'

"Never say you're stuffed!"

'When they start calling you a splendid bird, you know you're in trouble.'

'Haven't you ever heard of warmed up turkey?'

"For keyhole turkey carving we use a 12 mm port in each flank and third in the midline."

Squanto's less than famous older brother Squinto.

Before and After Holiday Diet

A Dog Is For Life Not Just For Christmas.

'You broke your wishbone. I'd suggest making a wish.'

'Ouch! I'm glad I didn't lay him.'

"It's supposed to be some kind of aphrodisiac, but it hasn't done jack for me."

'I spent my bonus on changing my spots.'

"Hippity hoppity. Easter's on its way."

Holiday Overkill.

'They'll go away as you get older -- they're just youth spots.'

Turkey Dinner and gravity

Ineffective Turkey Disguises

God perfects his turkey design.

'Next year we'll bring the turkey.'