Thanksgiving Chef Gifts

"Dulce et decorum est pro patria mori!" "He makes a strong case for baked ham, Olivia."

Turkey Autopsy

'This month I'll be cooked & my bones ripped apart in a wishing contest.'

Grace For Flies

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

"Great job of acting! You really appeared excited about Aunt May's 'famous' green bean casserole."

Happy Turkey Day!

'Thanksgiving's no holiday for turkeys or the women who cook them.'

Get your no-turkey recipes here! Eco club. Go veggie for T-day! No thanks! I like turkey, sausage, stuffing, creamed onions with bacon and mincemeat pie. I figured as much. How can you tell? Gut check. That's my gut reaction, too.

It's beginning to smell a lot like Christmas

"'Tis the story of a woeful refugee... ...whose plight has been forgotten. An admirable, amiable sort is he... but boy is he downtrodden. With courage of the kind you rarely see, he defended this land, when Redcoats invaded over land and sea, peck their knees and hands. And how did America repay this debt it owed its forest bird? Did you put our noble visage on the national seal as we would have preferred? No... You ate us. Just like the British did. I really think that it's the least you can do

'For the first 500 calories of what we are about to receive, make us truly thankful.'

'I put that the pilgrims ate Butterball Turkey, Stove Top Stuffing, and Mrs. Smith's Pie. Think she'll give extra credit for brand names?'

'As a token of friendship we present to you this sacred albino fawn.' 'We sailed all the way across the Atlantic Ocean, and all you have is light deer?!'

"It wasn't a farming accident. She just bit my head off again."

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

'Stove Top Stuffing! My favourite!'

Plymouth Rock

"Talk about close calls! Harry, tell them about last Thanksgiving!"

They discover fire and we spend all day cooking!

Beauty and the Baste

"Wait a minute- these are just the ten commandments of perfect mashed potatoes."

"It'll never be ready in time."

"Fulfilling others on Thanksgiving is pretty good advice, wouldn't you say?"

Turkey Autopsy

"Never say you're stuffed!"

Thanksgiving Feast. Get lots of turkey, but not too much of you'll have to take a pause at the nap box. I'm skipping the cranberries and going for the green beans and the potatoes. I'm at the stuffing now and getting bonus points for extra gravy! Hey! There's a shortcut through the corn, straight to the pumpkin pie! I win! Not so fast. You missed the most important spot where you give thanks for your family and friends. Oh, you're right. It's okay that I didn't win. I'll get you tomor

"For keyhole turkey carving we use a 12 mm port in each flank and third in the midline."

A sardine can combined with a cornucopia.

'How will my turkey turn out this year?' Color

'Thank you for the turkey, thank you for the dressing, and thank you for the squash, which Mother cleverly refers to as pumpkin pie.'

'Leave it to the school system to turn an enjoyable meal into an historical event.'

Before and After Holiday Diet