Thanksgiving Dinner Gifts

Smartphone Holiday.

Thanksgiving Turkey Weight and Fortune

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

"Today's special is a blue foot turkey leg cured in pine needle juice, served with willow bark home fries and wild honey mushrooms in a burnt corn sauce."

"Great job of acting! You really appeared excited about Aunt May's 'famous' green bean casserole."

'I'm going to make this quick because the pie ala mode ice cream is melting.'

'How's the chicken, dear?'

'Stove Top Stuffing! My favourite!'

"Put it on pause, son, and come to Thanksgiving dinner."

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

Tartine

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

Come dine with me!

Grace For Flies

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

Squirrels Stockpiling Mulling Spices for Winter

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

'Life is great' down on the farm.

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

"Oh my gosh, honey! Look out!"

Pumpkin patch

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

"And we are proud to say we only use the freshest artificial ingredients."

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

No one has ever been accused of choosing bad relatives.

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

"You're lost. This is Mom's apple pie."

"I don't think the turkey's going to be done on time. That's the dishwasher."

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'