Thanksgiving Dinner Aficionado Gifts

Turkey Funeral Planning

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

Periodic table for two. Chez LMN't

"Great job of acting! You really appeared excited about Aunt May's 'famous' green bean casserole."

Turkey Autopsy

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

'Thanksgiving's no holiday for turkeys or the women who cook them.'

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'Do you want your zebra de la margola rare, medium or well done?'

'Aw, mom! How come I always have to eat at the kiddie carcass?'

'For the first 500 calories of what we are about to receive, make us truly thankful.'

"'Tis the story of a woeful refugee... ...whose plight has been forgotten. An admirable, amiable sort is he... but boy is he downtrodden. With courage of the kind you rarely see, he defended this land, when Redcoats invaded over land and sea, peck their knees and hands. And how did America repay this debt it owed its forest bird? Did you put our noble visage on the national seal as we would have preferred? No... You ate us. Just like the British did. I really think that it's the least you can do

'In case of fire, don't panic, pay your bill then run like hell.'

'George, you're supposed to be tasting the wine, not seeing what effect it has.'

'As a token of friendship we present to you this sacred albino fawn.' 'We sailed all the way across the Atlantic Ocean, and all you have is light deer?!'

'I put that the pilgrims ate Butterball Turkey, Stove Top Stuffing, and Mrs. Smith's Pie. Think she'll give extra credit for brand names?'

'Stove Top Stuffing! My favourite!'

"I'd hold off on the peking duck another five minutes...the show's almost over."

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

"....and hold the garlic."

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.

Plymouth Rock

"Would madam like to sniff the resealable cap?"

'Look, I'll be brief. I love you, let's eat and hit the sack.'

'I couldn't find my measuring cups, so I had to kind of wing it with the stuffing.'

"Talk about close calls! Harry, tell them about last Thanksgiving!"

"This is a big wine. I recommend you order some big food."

Beauty and the Baste

"Fulfilling others on Thanksgiving is pretty good advice, wouldn't you say?"

"It'll never be ready in time."

Long Corkscrew