Thanksgiving Enthusiast Gifts

'I know I don't have much saved up, but I really need to retire before the end of the month.'

Plymouth Rock

'Christmas is coming; I want to review my policy.'

'So, what's for dinner?'

"The takeaway tonight is 'Thanks.' "

Thanksgiving.

"What the ... they've scheduled my surgery for Thanksgiving."

'Are we there yet?...Are we there yet?...Are we there yet?

The End is Near.

"Before proceeding, Gertrude will read the minutes of the last Thanksgiving."

'Forget it, Bob, they're way to skinny!'

"This is why I can't stand flying during the holidays... too much traffic."

'Lawyers.'

"I think he said they came to escape religious persecution. . ."

Turkey Day: 'I wanna leg!' 'I want dressing!' 'I want the light meat!'

A football player catching a turkey

Pilgrims and Wampanoag men celebrate Thanksgiving by playing football.

'As a token of friendship we present to you this sacred albino fawn.' 'We sailed all the way across the Atlantic Ocean, and all you have is light deer?!'

'It's part of our Thanksgiving tradition - I hide the frozen turkey and Walter hunts it down.'

'I'm a pilgrim in the Thanksgiving play. I need a paper hat and a wild turkey by Friday.'

Thanksgiving: Next Exit.

You are what you eat.

'I'm telling you! I'm a rare brown peacock!'

"Feast? Heck yeah! What are we eating?"

'Are you the guy who ate my brother?'

'Gee. I had hoped to make it to the adult table at Thanksgiving before you recommended I have my first colonoscopy.'

"I'm not going to count my blessings on Thanksgiving. I don't do math on holidays."

"We are thankful for this abundance of food....but we can use a little more patience. Amen."

Turkeys run as pilgrims arrive.

"Too bad we only have stuffing once a year."

'I put that the pilgrims ate Butterball Turkey, Stove Top Stuffing, and Mrs. Smith's Pie. Think she'll give extra credit for brand names?'

Bless this Turkey...

Pardoned. Unpardonable.

'Oh, she's not a witch or anything -- she just served leftover turkey five days in a row.'

Rudy doesn't have anywhere to go for Thanksgiving. We should invite him over to our house. You're right, of course. It's only right. We could use the help. As a guest. He'll dress s a busboy and call me Madam Hostess.