Hosting Thanksgiving Dinner Gifts

Table Discussion

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

"I'm afraid the challah got a little burnt this week."

"Oh, mournful and terrible engine of horror and crime—of agony and of death, not asparagus again!"

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

'Thanksgiving's no holiday for turkeys or the women who cook them.'

"Great job of acting! You really appeared excited about Aunt May's 'famous' green bean casserole."

Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!

'Aw, mom! How come I always have to eat at the kiddie carcass?'

'I'm thankful you didn't make turnips.'

'I'll be conducting Mahler 3 as the guests arrive.'

"When it comes to turkeys, Mom, you sure know your stuff-ing."

"That sister of yours sure has some nerve asking for those leftovers - we earned them."

'Stove Top Stuffing! My favourite!'

"My client greatly regrets the incident with the carving knife. However, in her defense, 14 people were coming for Thanksgiving and her husband, who had just one job to do, bought only 8 rolls."

'I couldn't find my measuring cups, so I had to kind of wing it with the stuffing.'

I don't do wishbones. I do just-make-it-happen bones.

"Wait a minute- these are just the ten commandments of perfect mashed potatoes."

"Dad's dinner really is melt-in-your-mouth...it's half frozen!"

'We thank you for this food and ask you to protect us from pesticides, additives and preservatives.'

Home for the Holidays

'You talk about her so much. Why don't you invite that Alma Mater of yours to dinner sometime?'

'This year, I thought I'd try a self-basting turkey!'

'I lost the grocery list you gave me. So I brought home a few weeks supply of pizza.'

"It helps if you think of it as a turkey."

A family gets ready for their microwave meal on the patio.

'Mary, you must give me your stuffing recipe.'

"Honey, will you let the dog in? When your 3-Bean Salad kicks in, I'll need someone to blame."

"Put it on pause, son, and come to Thanksgiving dinner."

"What's a good time for dinner, let's sync up our calendars..."

"And he's a nutritional-support animal, too."

"He bought a thermometer for me, and I'm not even sick."

What will I do with it? It will never fit in the microwave.

"Did I set the table right? Fork, knife, tooth brush?"