Thanksgiving Dinner Host Gifts

A turkey holds up a sign reading "Repent!"

Grace For Flies

"I'm afraid the challah got a little burnt this week."

Party time.

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

Turkey Autopsy

Happy Turkey Day!

"Great job of acting! You really appeared excited about Aunt May's 'famous' green bean casserole."

'Thanksgiving's no holiday for turkeys or the women who cook them.'

Horn of Leftovers

'Giles is a surgeon who likes to bring his work home with him.'

'Stove Top Stuffing! My favourite!'

"Wait a minute- these are just the ten commandments of perfect mashed potatoes."

'This month I'll be cooked & my bones ripped apart in a wishing contest.'

'I'm in the mood to cook!'

Before and After Holiday Diet

"I worry about every little thing. Barry's more of a generalist."

'I always buy him the toughest, chewiest steak. It shuts him right up for half an hour.'

Trustworthy Authority.

'Mary, you must give me your stuffing recipe.'

"He bought a thermometer for me, and I'm not even sick."

"The host? He'll be the guy standing here, alone, when the wine's gone."

"Put it on pause, son, and come to Thanksgiving dinner."

What will I do with it? It will never fit in the microwave.

Turkey Funeral Planning

"You don't use a cookbook, Tia Carmen?"

Turkey a la Mode

"...and you!? Did you like yours?"

After-Life Mints

"I guess you weren't doing it right."

'And don't you touch that mammoth in the freezer. I'm saving it for company.'

Thanksgiving Turkey Weight and Fortune

'Yuck! My creamed corn is polluting my mashed potatoes!'

Turkey Goes Into Dressing Room and Comes Out Cooked

'We're very on-the-hoof, of the moment kind of people - would it be possible to dine off Styrofoam?'