Thanksgiving Dinner Debater Gifts

'...And I'm thankful for the president's executive action allowing us to stay in the U.S. without fear of deportation.'

"You owe me five bucks."

"All of tonight's specials dance around the whole GMO thing."

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

'Thanksgiving's no holiday for turkeys or the women who cook them.'

"Great job of acting! You really appeared excited about Aunt May's 'famous' green bean casserole."

'When you asked me over for a home-cooked meal, I assumed you'd be making it.'

"You know why they make these straws so big? It's a scam to make you drink fast so you can finish quicker and order more."

"Let me get this, but keep in mind that you'll pay for it in other, more subtle ways later on."

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

"Those are insightful and legitimate questions about our country, Tommy, and if times were different, your mom and I probably wouldn't have to report you to the government for asking them!"

'Nobody goes there anymore.' 'Because it's too crowded.'

'You're cute when you blow your cool.'

"Oh, c'mon! Who eats aardvark with a fork?"

"Are we pessimists and our stomachs are half empty or optimists and our stomachs are half full?"

'And just how much is silver going for a troy ounce these days?'

'All right, I agree with you.'

"You ordered mammoth again?"

'I'll be late for dinner - a shelf fell on me.'

"Put it on pause, son, and come to Thanksgiving dinner."

'What do you mean, it's good for me and I'll like it? That sounds like a contradiction in terms.'

"The social conservative in me tells me to pay for dinner, but the fiscal conservative thinks we should split it."

'I wouldn't say you're boring, Chuck, but you're the only person I know who records The Weather Channel.'

'I hate them too. Listen, would you like to go out sometime? Dinner maybe? We could complain about the service.'

"You know, if lima beans, cauliflower and broccoli tasted like candy and ice cream, we wouldn't have to go through this every night!"

"First the porridge is too hot, then too cold... you're getting a lousy tip."

Members of the legal fraternity at their favourite Chinese restaurant: So Su Me.

"When you say 'the same', do you mean worse or better?"

Alexis Tsipras meets Francois Hollande

'Will you stop going BAAAAA every time I eat a piece of lamb!'

Dear, this is the third time we've had broccoli casserole since you declared an end of major hostilities.

"Wow! My calculations show that on Christmas night, Santa Claus will visit 1 house every .83 seconds!"