Family Dinner Debaters Gifts

'Write all the angry clogs you want - you still have to eat your green beans.'

"You know, if lima beans, cauliflower and broccoli tasted like candy and ice cream, we wouldn't have to go through this every night!"

"You owe me five bucks."

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

'When you asked me over for a home-cooked meal, I assumed you'd be making it.'

"You know why they make these straws so big? It's a scam to make you drink fast so you can finish quicker and order more."

"Let me get this, but keep in mind that you'll pay for it in other, more subtle ways later on."

"Those are insightful and legitimate questions about our country, Tommy, and if times were different, your mom and I probably wouldn't have to report you to the government for asking them!"

'Nobody goes there anymore.' 'Because it's too crowded.'

'You're cute when you blow your cool.'

"Oh, c'mon! Who eats aardvark with a fork?"

"Are we pessimists and our stomachs are half empty or optimists and our stomachs are half full?"

"You ordered mammoth again?"

'All right, I agree with you.'

'I'll be late for dinner - a shelf fell on me.'

'Spuds were watery. And where's my damn dessert?'

'And just how much is silver going for a troy ounce these days?'

"The social conservative in me tells me to pay for dinner, but the fiscal conservative thinks we should split it."

'I hate them too. Listen, would you like to go out sometime? Dinner maybe? We could complain about the service.'

'I wouldn't say you're boring, Chuck, but you're the only person I know who records The Weather Channel.'

"First the porridge is too hot, then too cold... you're getting a lousy tip."

"When you say 'the same', do you mean worse or better?"

Dear, this is the third time we've had broccoli casserole since you declared an end of major hostilities.

'Why don't you stop moaning, and be grateful that mother was kind enough to invite us around for a special halloween supper!'

Members of the legal fraternity at their favourite Chinese restaurant: So Su Me.

'Will you stop going BAAAAA every time I eat a piece of lamb!'

'Today I learned it's hard not to sound condescending when explaining science to a religious person.'

"Oh, I don't eat turkey. One of my spiritual advisers is a turkey."

"Daddy, which group of economists did you support during the recession?"

"Do you two need a little more time?"

'Forget about National Security for a second... if I'm not home in an hour for dinner, there's going to be some REAL FIREWORKS!'

The PARTISAN CAFE: "For or against section?"

"Because of the war can we split this?"

'Charles, what did I tell you about bringing your work home?'

"Don't try to distance yourself from my choice of entrée."