Family Dinner Debater Gifts

"I buried my Obama T-shirt in the bottom drawer."

"You owe me five bucks."

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

'When you asked me over for a home-cooked meal, I assumed you'd be making it.'

"You know why they make these straws so big? It's a scam to make you drink fast so you can finish quicker and order more."

"Let me get this, but keep in mind that you'll pay for it in other, more subtle ways later on."

"Those are insightful and legitimate questions about our country, Tommy, and if times were different, your mom and I probably wouldn't have to report you to the government for asking them!"

The Shakespeares Dine Out.

'Nobody goes there anymore.' 'Because it's too crowded.'

'You're cute when you blow your cool.'

"Oh, c'mon! Who eats aardvark with a fork?"

"Are we pessimists and our stomachs are half empty or optimists and our stomachs are half full?"

"You ordered mammoth again?"

'I'll be late for dinner - a shelf fell on me.'

'And just how much is silver going for a troy ounce these days?'

'All right, I agree with you.'

'What do you mean, it's good for me and I'll like it? That sounds like a contradiction in terms.'

"The social conservative in me tells me to pay for dinner, but the fiscal conservative thinks we should split it."

'I hate them too. Listen, would you like to go out sometime? Dinner maybe? We could complain about the service.'

'I wouldn't say you're boring, Chuck, but you're the only person I know who records The Weather Channel.'

"You know, if lima beans, cauliflower and broccoli tasted like candy and ice cream, we wouldn't have to go through this every night!"

"When you say 'the same', do you mean worse or better?"

Members of the legal fraternity at their favourite Chinese restaurant: So Su Me.

"First the porridge is too hot, then too cold... you're getting a lousy tip."

'Why don't you stop moaning, and be grateful that mother was kind enough to invite us around for a special halloween supper!'

'Will you stop going BAAAAA every time I eat a piece of lamb!'

"Oh, I don't eat turkey. One of my spiritual advisers is a turkey."

'Today I learned it's hard not to sound condescending when explaining science to a religious person.'

"Daddy, which group of economists did you support during the recession?"

The PARTISAN CAFE: "For or against section?"

'Forget about National Security for a second... if I'm not home in an hour for dinner, there's going to be some REAL FIREWORKS!'

"Do you two need a little more time?"

"Because of the war can we split this?"

'Charles, what did I tell you about bringing your work home?'

"Don't try to distance yourself from my choice of entrée."