Thanksgiving Host Gifts

"He bought a thermometer for me, and I'm not even sick."

"Wait a minute- these are just the ten commandments of perfect mashed potatoes."

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

Tartine

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

Come dine with me!

Grace For Flies

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

Squirrels Stockpiling Mulling Spices for Winter

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

"Oh my gosh, honey! Look out!"

'Life is great' down on the farm.

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

Pumpkin patch

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

No one has ever been accused of choosing bad relatives.

"And we are proud to say we only use the freshest artificial ingredients."

"You're lost. This is Mom's apple pie."

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

"I don't think the turkey's going to be done on time. That's the dishwasher."

Rusty, not believing in God, seized his chance...

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

'All those vegetables Mom's been feeding me finally paid off. I'm a squash.'

The Last Leaf

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

How to Deal With Leftover Turkey