Hosting Dinners Gifts

Teddy Bears' Dinner Party

'Why did you ask Fred to dinner on Sunday? He's the only friend I have left!'

'What kind of person are you?! Answer this yes or no question and you'll find out. . . Have you ever dropped food on the floor and went ahead and served it to guests?'

Grace For Flies

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

"I'm afraid the challah got a little burnt this week."

"Rump roast?"

Party time.

"Again, are you sure I didn't mention about bringing your own 3-D glasses?"

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

"Gesundheit!"

'Would you like you steak WITH or WITHOUT a capella?'

Horn of Leftovers

'Giles is a surgeon who likes to bring his work home with him.'

'I said, I don't know about you, but I'm a bit disappointed in the strolling musician.'

How to make an unforgettable dinner for four

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

'I'll be conducting Mahler 3 as the guests arrive.'

'I couldn't find my measuring cups, so I had to kind of wing it with the stuffing.'

"This meal tastes just like dog crap!"

"A little lamb please."

'Sorry there's no food. We were kind of hoping you'd bring some.'

'Thanks for inviting me to dinner - it's really great!'

"Let that breathe a little. But not too much. My last bottle hyperventilated."

'The Boss is coming to dinner tonight - please don't open a can of worms again.'

If I have to eat another mouthful of that sludge I'm gonna puke...

Chefs-R-Us

"Here's to a great post-meal nap."

'You talk about her so much. Why don't you invite that Alma Mater of yours to dinner sometime?'

'Just decaning the wine, Dear; I'll be in, in a sec. Someone's at the door; and oh, yeah, the dog needs to be let in.'