Dinner Hosting Gifts

'I'll be conducting Mahler 3 as the guests arrive.'

'You talk about her so much. Why don't you invite that Alma Mater of yours to dinner sometime?'

'I've got to hand it to you, Wally. It took guts to bring me home to dinner unannounced.'

Merry Christmas!

Grace For Flies

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

"Rump roast?"

"I'm afraid the challah got a little burnt this week."

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

Party time.

"Again, are you sure I didn't mention about bringing your own 3-D glasses?"

'Would you like you steak WITH or WITHOUT a capella?'

"Gesundheit!"

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

Horn of Leftovers

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

Reserved space is reserved for a dinner table.

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."

'Giles is a surgeon who likes to bring his work home with him.'

How to make an unforgettable dinner for four

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

'I said, I don't know about you, but I'm a bit disappointed in the strolling musician.'

"This meal tastes just like dog crap!"

"A little lamb please."

"Two questions: What time are the guests arriving, and do you still want me to slice the pepperoni?"

'Sorry there's no food. We were kind of hoping you'd bring some.'

"Let that breathe a little. But not too much. My last bottle hyperventilated."

'Thanks for inviting me to dinner - it's really great!'

"Here's to a great post-meal nap."

'I'm in the mood to cook!'

If I have to eat another mouthful of that sludge I'm gonna puke...