Dinner Hosting T-Shirts

'I'll be conducting Mahler 3 as the guests arrive.'

'You talk about her so much. Why don't you invite that Alma Mater of yours to dinner sometime?'

'I've got to hand it to you, Wally. It took guts to bring me home to dinner unannounced.'

Merry Christmas!

Grace For Flies

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

"I'm afraid the challah got a little burnt this week."

"Rump roast?"

"Again, are you sure I didn't mention about bringing your own 3-D glasses?"

Party time.

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

'Would you like you steak WITH or WITHOUT a capella?'

Horn of Leftovers

"Gesundheit!"

Reserved space is reserved for a dinner table.

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."

'Giles is a surgeon who likes to bring his work home with him.'

How to make an unforgettable dinner for four

'I said, I don't know about you, but I'm a bit disappointed in the strolling musician.'

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

"This meal tastes just like dog crap!"

"A little lamb please."

'Sorry there's no food. We were kind of hoping you'd bring some.'

'Thanks for inviting me to dinner - it's really great!'

"Let that breathe a little. But not too much. My last bottle hyperventilated."

Chefs-R-Us

'You folks just sit right there and I'll go kill some hors d'oeuvres.'

'I'm in the mood to cook!'

"Here's to a great post-meal nap."