Hosting Dinner Parties T-Shirts

'Your wife is right on that one. When you're invited to dinner, you take a bottle of wine as a token of your appreciation.'

How to make an unforgettable dinner for four

'Okay, which is it; the wine you served the Stewarts 6 weeks ago, or the wine you're serving them 6 weeks from now?'

'Just decaning the wine, Dear; I'll be in, in a sec. Someone's at the door; and oh, yeah, the dog needs to be let in.'

"My wife prefers the kitchen to herself while she's cooking..."

'It's Jack's homemade Merlot - care for a scoop?'

"We're in for a real treat tonight. Freddy's preparing his blackened swordfish."

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

It's not because I'm nervous. The reason I'm not eating is because I really do have butterflies in my stomach.

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

"Rump roast?"

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"When portions are this huge, I eat half now and the rest in a few minutes."

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

'Life is all attitude: 45 seconds of enjoying it...45,000 hours of regretting it...'

"All of tonight's specials dance around the whole GMO thing."

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

Party time.

"Again, are you sure I didn't mention about bringing your own 3-D glasses?"

'Would you like you steak WITH or WITHOUT a capella?'

"It was a cheese and wine party but the mice got there first!"

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

"Joel! Killer crust!"

"Gesundheit!"

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

'The Ambassador will not be pleased, Madame.'