Hosting A First Dinner Party T-Shirts

A table laid out with meal kits

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

It's not because I'm nervous. The reason I'm not eating is because I really do have butterflies in my stomach.

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"Rump roast?"

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

'Life is all attitude: 45 seconds of enjoying it...45,000 hours of regretting it...'

"When portions are this huge, I eat half now and the rest in a few minutes."

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"All of tonight's specials dance around the whole GMO thing."

"Again, are you sure I didn't mention about bringing your own 3-D glasses?"

Party time.

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

"Gesundheit!"

'Don't let him pick the wine. He thinks Dom Perignon was someone who got knocked off on the Sopranos.'

'Would you like you steak WITH or WITHOUT a capella?'

"Joel! Killer crust!"

"It was a cheese and wine party but the mice got there first!"

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

Selfish shellfish - 'You kids share your food and stop being shellfish!'

'The Ambassador will not be pleased, Madame.'

'I made your favorite for dinner — pterodactyl nuggets!'

An experimentalist alarms his guests by describing the appearance of the mushrooms in a dish they have just eaten.

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

Reserved space is reserved for a dinner table.

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."