Dinner Host T-Shirts

'And don't you touch that mammoth in the freezer. I'm saving it for company.'

"I worry about every little thing. Barry's more of a generalist."

Trustworthy Authority.

Party time.

'The Cambells are having a bring your own dinner party.'

'I always buy him the toughest, chewiest steak. It shuts him right up for half an hour.'

"We have records of all the bad wine you bring to dinner parties."

Grace For Flies

Dinner chat.

'Why did you ask Fred to dinner on Sunday? He's the only friend I have left!'

'They do that every time. I think it's something in the meatballs.'

'I'm in the mood to cook!'

"The host? He'll be the guy standing here, alone, when the wine's gone."

After-Life Mints

Horn of Leftovers

Gong

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

"I'm afraid the challah got a little burnt this week."

"Rump roast?"

"Again, are you sure I didn't mention about bringing your own 3-D glasses?"

'Would you like you steak WITH or WITHOUT a capella?'

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

"Gesundheit!"

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."

'Giles is a surgeon who likes to bring his work home with him.'

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

'I'll be conducting Mahler 3 as the guests arrive.'

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

'I said, I don't know about you, but I'm a bit disappointed in the strolling musician.'

"My client greatly regrets the incident with the carving knife. However, in her defense, 14 people were coming for Thanksgiving and her husband, who had just one job to do, bought only 8 rolls."

"This meal tastes just like dog crap!"