Quirky Dinner Host T-Shirts

'Giles is a surgeon who likes to bring his work home with him.'

"...and you!? Did you like yours?"

'I'm running a little late -- could you help me fold the napkins?'

Grace For Flies

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

Dinner at the Trapdoors

"Rump roast?"

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

"How fresh is the calamari?"

Party time.

"Again, are you sure I didn't mention about bringing your own 3-D glasses?"

'Would you like you steak WITH or WITHOUT a capella?'

"Gesundheit!"

Horn of Leftovers

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

'I said, I don't know about you, but I'm a bit disappointed in the strolling musician.'

"I feel like I'm cosplaying as a salad bar."

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

"A little lamb please."

"I thought we agreed that the dining room was a buffer zone."

"This meal tastes just like dog crap!"

"Let that breathe a little. But not too much. My last bottle hyperventilated."

'This soufle is hard.' - 'No it isn't, your teeth are soft.'

"My bouche was not amused."

"Here's to a great post-meal nap."

'I'm in the mood to cook!'

'If you mean Janet, she works the late shift.'

"Appetizer is almost done."

"I worry about every little thing. Barry's more of a generalist."

'I always buy him the toughest, chewiest steak. It shuts him right up for half an hour.'

Trustworthy Authority.