Quirky Dinner Hosts T-Shirts

'I have no idea what's going on here, but I suggest we all do as he says and get into the mudroom closet.'

Grace For Flies

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

"Rump roast?"

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

"How fresh is the calamari?"

Party time.

"Again, are you sure I didn't mention about bringing your own 3-D glasses?"

"Gesundheit!"

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

'Would you like you steak WITH or WITHOUT a capella?'

Periodic table for two. Chez LMN't

Horn of Leftovers

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."

'Giles is a surgeon who likes to bring his work home with him.'

"I feel like I'm cosplaying as a salad bar."

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

'I said, I don't know about you, but I'm a bit disappointed in the strolling musician.'

"I thought we agreed that the dining room was a buffer zone."

"A little lamb please."

"This meal tastes just like dog crap!"

Sushi Train Spotters

"Let that breathe a little. But not too much. My last bottle hyperventilated."

'This soufle is hard.' - 'No it isn't, your teeth are soft.'

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

'I'm in the mood to cook!'

"Here's to a great post-meal nap."

"My bouche was not amused."

'If you mean Janet, she works the late shift.'

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

"The catch of the day is halibut. The day it was caught was last Tuesday."